SHOULD I STAY WITH HIM?

[« carter moutier .]

so i have a boyfriend, we will call him jake.. so my boyfriend jake and i have been dating for about two months now.. well almost but anyways! two days ago we got into this huge arguement, then we kinda made up then something else made us mad and this one was even worse. i told him my friend was asking me awkward questions like "are you and jake going to be together forever?" and "what are you going to do when you go off to college, stay with jake?" and stuff and i told him and he said "oh that's easy to answer" and i said "how?" and he said "say no." and not that i wanna marry the kid but it just really looks like he doesn't care and won't give anything . so yesterday he avoided me after thrid period [which is when i usually see him] and so i didn't go see him after school. so he didn't talk to me until like 9:30 last night. and we were still kind of mad at eachother and before he left he said "then break up with me.. etc." i don't remember the rest but it wasn't like "sorry baby but i love you" or anything. and this morning we were still fighting and he just wasn't hearing me. then after third i decided i was going to break up with him, but then he gave me this note and i was a little mad because i thought he was going to break up through a note. and before i read it even a guy I DIDN'T KNOW said it would have been so wrong and started to walk over before i read it. he didnt, it was a sweet note saying he was really sorry and he did care he just didn't know how to show it. and the only regret he had was not telling me "i love you" enough. and it almost made me cry but after school we were fine and everything.

but, here's another part. my friend, we will call her jenny. jenny invited me to go down with her to her dad's house and we'd hang out all weekend and watch the lacrosse games that he boyfriend were going to be in. so i am going, but when they saw me at lunch so upset yesterday they called one of his friends and told him about me [he is going to the lacrosse games too but he doesn't play] and he's excited to meet me. we thought i was going to break up with jake at this point, but i didn't now i feel horrible that they did that because it wasn't even MY idea. now, i have seen this guy they want me to meet. he's a lot cuter than jake, and a lot bigger. this just adds to all my guilt okay! but truth is i am pretty excited to meet him as well.

i would NEVER want a guy like jake to grow up and get married to. he's not the type of guy i would want a serious relationship with. so now i am the one with no faith in the relationship instead of him. yes i am only in high school but i can't just drag him along..

and, i had a dream about my ex. no, not that i want him back. i had a dream that jake broke up with me, and my ex was trying to get back together with me (and manipulating me like he used to do when we broke up to get back with him.) and i was like "NO!" but when i woke up i interpreted.. and it made me wonder, "do i love jake?" or "do i love that he kept my ex away?"

it's quite confusing i know, it's just a lot to write.

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[• andi silver.]

*sighs* oh jessjess.
you really have interesting situations.
After reading it all, over and over actually.. I think that maybe you should see what happens at the lacrosse game with this other guy. If you can't see a future with Jake, then whats the point wasting time, and possibly leading him on? Knowing what I know about your ex, I'd be mad if you got back with him.. since he seems like a major jerk, but Jake seems like he just doesn't care as much as he should. Maybe he feels exactly like you do, or maybe he really doesn't care. Which is dumb because my jessjess deserves the best. If your not happy with the relationship, theres no point going farther into it. TRUST ME.


sorry if my advice seems abit harsh, but it's the truth (: <3

[« carter moutier .]

So, I decided I am going to break up with Vince [ i will use real names now -- Jake ] on monday. He said that he regretted not telling me he loved me enough but he didn't say it ALL DAY today and it's like "then why did you say it in the first place?" so, I am done... It hurts a little but eh you know what he had more than one chance to change it.

I met the guy my friend Sam [ Jenny ] wanted me to meet, he was actually pretty nice. But, as shy as I am it wasn't going so well but he was a little bit too I could tell. I mean, I liked him but I go for personality so I'd have to get to know him A LOT better to decide something for sure. Oh -- his name's Jeremy..

but, thanks Rinn your advice helped (:

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[altair lawley]

Aw Jess, I'm sorry about all of that. =[ Just checking though, Vince was the first boyfriend right? Or was he the best friend? Sorry for not remembering, but it's been a while, and I think I've missed some stuff. xD

But I'm glad you got it [sort of] sorted out, it's no fun when you're constantly confused. Good luck with the Jeremy boy, and I hope he's as nice as he seems. =] I would write more, but I have to get ready for bed. Anyways, I'm glad you're okay, and that I'm back so I can hear about it.

<3
Annemarie

[« carter moutier .]

alex was my first boyfriend,
vince was my best friend who became my boyfriend,
then we broke up and now i'm dating jeremy.

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